Ways that a homeschool parent gets ready for the school:
1. Shop for school supplies. Go to the nearest store and wander around the school supply area casually grabbing the needed crayons, markers, glue sticks, pencils, and paper for the year all while watching the moms with the page long list of supplies that their kindergartner needs. Giggle to yourself while that mom races frantically from aisle to aisle searching for that elusive item on their list. Your cart totals $30 in supplies for three kids and hers is $100 for just one.
2. Shop for curriculum. Take a few friends for a girls’ weekend and head to the nearest homeschool convention. Go out to eat, relax, sleep, and enjoy yourself all weekend long while public school moms are busy at home shuffling their angels from activity to activity trying to get everything done during summer vacation.
3. Shop for school clothes. Well, that really isn’t necessary since most days your kids spend in their pajamas so just stock up on some nice warm flannels and you’re done. Meanwhile, the other moms are dropping a mortgage payment making sure that their children have the latest fashions so they are not picked on during the year. You cruise in and out of the store while they circumnavigate the mall three times with three cranky children who never seem to find what they like.
4. First day of school-Gather at the window in your robe and drink your favorite coffee or tea. Watch all the kids and their moms gather at the bus stop. New clothes, backpacks, sneakers, and everyone is smiling and taking pictures. After the bus leaves, go rouse your children out of bed and start your first day by letting them wear pajamas for the day.
5. Week one. Watch the neighborhood kids get on the bus still smiling because they are enjoying their first few days at school. You spend the day teaching your child about Michelangelo. Then you tape paper to the bottom of the kitchen table and let them color and paint just like the Sistine Chapel.
6. Week two. The neighborhood kids are now miserable and tired at the bus stop. The moms are racing after them bringing items that they forgot. Other sleepy kids are munching on a pop tart. Bagged lunches designed by pinterest ideas have been replaced by PB&J. You still watch from the comfort of your window, sipping your coffee, and then rouse your kids after the bus leaves. This week’s study is on the Oregon Trail and your children are making food that was made on the trail, playing the game on the computer, and packing for their own simulated trip in the house where you’ve set up problems for them to solve in each room.
7. Week three. It pours for two days. Mom are sitting in running cars at the bus stop so their kids don’t get soaked, which unfortunately they do when they tried to leave the car to get on the bus. You spend one day at the local science museum and the next day helping your kids research a scientist or invention to do an oral report.
If only this were true!! We have as many struggles as public school parents.
· We sharpen pencils every morning only to have them sucked into the void the next morning.
· Planning is often difficult and ruined when the flu bug hits.
· A run into the store after a field trip yields strange looks and the “why aren’t your kids in school?” question. This produces an entire uninvited conversation on “don’t you worry about socialization?”
· Most days we want to curl up into bed and pull the covers over our heads.
· Leaving the kids to do their school work quietly while you change the laundry around results in a full scale shouting match and eraser war.
· There is not enough caffeine in the world to make it through the day
· Pinterest lunch ideas are thrown out the window. Open a can of ravioli and call it lunch. Add an apple and you’ve added a fruit.
Best of luck to all my fellow homeschool parents!!